yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
