If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
