if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
