I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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