he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
