careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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