i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He told me they were just razor bumps!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
