I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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