We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize