Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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