he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
