if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
