of course. lets lasso hookers.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
as a side note pls kill me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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