I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is Oprah even human
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
