I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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