I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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