It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
