'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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