just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize