i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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