My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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