Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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