You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize