So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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