is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
