the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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