Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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