my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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