im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
