I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
