Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
