i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
