so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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