Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
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Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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