Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize