conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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