i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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