did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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