dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
