just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
