I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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