why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
