Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
