literally had 100 drinks last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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