I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
