They should really pass out barf bags in church
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
