We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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