YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
