so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just had sex bonerless
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
