who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Semen is not good for contacts.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
