At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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