Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
