I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
