the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
