Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
