At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
