I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize