OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize