I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
