Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
