i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
