I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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