dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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