Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
