you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
